Hen's tooth
Source: Google photo of emotional parting
Synopsis: We all experience the emotional parting of friends and relatives during our lifetime. True and close friends make parting more difficult because of the uncertainty that we may never see them again as life itself is uncertain. We never know if we will see them again so cherish their friendship that is so rare.
I often think of the reasons why I get emotionally affected when a dear friend or a relative comes to see me and we enjoy his or her company but feel sad when the time comes for them to leave. I am not sure how my visitors feel but certainly I feel a sense of loss because there is always an air of uncertainty because it may be their last visit so I may never see them again. It happened to me when my sister came here for the last time. I gave her a big hug at the airport but did not know that she will never again come to visit us here in the Philippines because she died of cancer in India.
I was emotional when she left because she was my companion when I was just a baby and later we used to go to school every day and return home together as well. So, we shared a lot of time together while growing up. I did errands for her and brought her to the train station numerous times when she had to go back to her town where she was a teacher. I pressed her clothes, bought things for her and went to a picnic that she enjoyed. I invited her to travel with me in India to visit beautiful places and I brought her to the Philippines three times, which she enjoyed very much. My wife, being a very generous woman, bought her many gifts and took many photos that she printed and put in an album to bring with her to India.
I felt sad when one day I received an email from India that she had died of cancer, so I sent money for her last rites, but I did not feel any emotion when my three other sisters died. Why did I not feel any emotion when they died? The answer lies in one word "Sharing".
I did not share anything with them because of the huge age gap between us so they did not play with me or share anything. I ran errands for them as well but they remained aloof and left the town when they got married and were busy raising their children who later did not have any connection with me. They did not show any excitement when I left India or went to see me off at the train station but this sister I grew up with, always went to the train station or the airport to see me off and shed a few tears while giving me a big hug.
She was only a few years older than me so there was no big age gap. Maybe that could be another reason why we were closer to each other and shared many things. I tormented her for being a crying kid, but she never complained and always carried me, fed me and took care of me but others were not like her, so I felt her absence when she died.
I find that these two factors, i.e. the sharing and small age gap played a role in bringing us together. We shared our childhood and later our teen years together. She had a great impact on my education when one day she told me that I should get admission to an agriculture college because the students there spoke good English and were smart, so I became an agronomist and received my B.Sc Ag degree one day that she was very proud of. She did not know that one day this education will open many doors for me and provide many opportunities that would make me an international traveler working in many countries. My other sisters were aloof and had nothing to do with me, so I did not feel anything when they died.
Then I started to think why some people I met long ago became my lifelong friends while others never offered any friendship, so they all faded away. Some were my classmates in college, others were my coworkers and still others I met in many countries, but none became my friend, so I have forgotten their names but not their indifference and often nasty toxic behavior. Some were jealous so they talked against me to prove that they were better than me.
I too ignored them and never kept any contact with them because they were not worth my time to keep my friendship with them that was never there to start with.
A friendship develops between two persons when they share the same ethics of hard work, honest living and offer help to anyone who needs their help. They never say anything but the truth and they never make any promise they cannot keep. They are always ready to help each other whenever needed so a bond develops that gets stronger as we age.
They go through life facing many challenges but eventually overcome them because they work hard with honesty and diligence, so they share this trait with their friend who has overcome somewhat similar challenges and succeeds at some point. It is often said that people who suffer challenges together become lifelong friends. It is common in the armed services where they get wounded or worse in some distant war but return home as lifelong friends. The sharing of danger and hardship is what makes people come together this way but it is not limited to the armed services.
Often people say that we are not like wild animals because wild animals care only for their own survival but I disagree. Wild animals of different species raised together become lifelong friends and shed tears when they are separated. If you raise such animals, they will never forget you even after many years living in the wilderness.
But we seek others like us and rarely make friends with people who are not like us. Humans go one step further. Some will seek friendship only if the other person is of the same race, same religion and even has the same political views so they make many conditions in their friendship.
Those who do not make conditions for their friendship are those rare people who share similar values and work ethics with another person, irrespective of their race, skin color or ethnicity become good friends in a selfless manner. They do not want any favors from you but want plain and honest friendship. Such people do exist but are not very common.
Meeting with them years later somewhere brings joy but parting with them at some airport one day brings a sense of emptiness that is hard to fill. Life is short and unpredictable so we all feel that anything can happen to us anytime without warning especially when we are at the end of our life and waiting for the final curtain to descend.
Friendship is like a sapling that you plant together and nurture it to grow into a lively healthy tree someday that gives shade and fruits. Friendship is also like that and needs to be nurtured so that it can grow strong over the years and create a strong bond between people.
Most people go through life without friends meaning true friends. They become friends for a reason and for a season, but such people are not your true friends because they are your friends for a reason and for a season. Later they all fade away leaving no trace because their friendship is always tainted by their self interest in you. A true friend wants nothing from you. Such people are rare and should be cherished because they are like hen's teeth.
I am happy to tell you that I have a few friends like that who have helped me, mentored me and always stood by me because they believed in me and in my ability to get the job given to me done professionally. Some were my professors in college and others whom I met working in other countries, so I consider myself very lucky to have met them and got to know them well. Many have died so I miss them and feel emptiness whenever I think of them.
Note: I have nearly come to the end of my writing career as a blogger so you may have noticed that I have written very few blogs in the past few months. Sometimes an idea comes, and I write a blog like this one but one day surely, I will come to a stop. After publishing over 440 blogs on various subjects, I feel that I have written enough that will keep you busy reading them for a long time so I should quit.
But a change was in the offing. It came in the form of an idea that Amazon may accept my blogs now called posts in the form of an e-book in many languages and publish them.
So my IT expert daughter is putting together all the blogs I have ever written into a format acceptable to Amazon called KDP ( Kindle Direct Publishing) as e- book. You may be able to download the volumes no matter where you live in the world once it becomes an Amazon publication sometime in the future.
In the e-book if it ever sees the light of the day, it will be free of all the links I usually add to my WordPress blogs and all the power points and YouTube links to movies or other subjects so it will be plain but with the same content as my blogs present. I will tell you when it comes online. In the meantime, share my blogs with your friends and others as usual and always send me your comments on them. My e book pen name will be Anil. Someday my biography will also be published there as an e-book. Cheers and best wishes.
Aumolc.
Note: My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese languages at the following links as well as my biography. My blogs can be shared by anyone anytime in any social media.
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